Congratulations and best wishes to you! Being true to yourself is an empowering experience isn't it? Maybe you will inspire others to pursue a better life for themselves outside the WT too.
Mrs. Fiorini
JoinedPosts by Mrs. Fiorini
-
36
THE FADE IS OVER
by BurnTheShips inwhy hide like i have done something wrong?
i have nothing to be ashamed of.
it is apostate time.. bts.
-
-
-
32
Watchtower Speech Taboos - Censorship by Ommision
by unclebruce inbahbuttons said: another time i accidently told a kid god bless you in the kh and you'd think i just said every swear word known to man with the looks i got from everyone....another embaressing moment that was.............fond memories eh,lolquoteendquoteeend.
th is an interesting point.
apostates always bang on about watchtower double speak and the way the society twists words, investing them with mind-control triggers but rarely do we hear about censorship by omission, the words jw's can't speak.
-
-
Mrs. Fiorini
Who can forget the oh so sinful 'Good Luck'?
-
15
Can a Lack of Sleep Cause Psychiatric Disorders?
by Archer inok where do i start.
last year my mother-in-law (still a witness) fell ill, she seemed at least in begining kind of ok during the day but at night would go nuts, always needing something.
my wife is the main person looking after her, i help when i can but my early rising means if i don't get enough of sleep i might as well stay at home or someone can get killed (i work at subway control centre).
-
-
Mrs. Fiorini
I don't know how old your mil is, but she may have something called 'sundowners', where elderly people become agitated, anxious and frightened at night. We were afraid my grandmother was getting this after she had cancer surgery. Happily for us it turned out to be temporary, and after several months and some changes in medication, it has gone away. (This is sometimes caused my medication and drugs in the system, so maybe that's why it coincides with your mil's illness. I would mention it to the doctor, especially if you can get a gerontologist that specializes in elderly medicine. Perhaps he or she could give you some advice.)
This must be very upsetting to your wife to see, as well as exhausting. Can she get some help from anyone else in the family? My mother is my grandmother's primary care person, too, and it was really taking a toll on her. My uncle, who lives out of town, has been coming down during weekends to give my mom a break. He even stayed for several days so my parents could take a little mini vacation and relax a little. If someone could do that for your wife, it could make a big difference.
I hope the best for you and your family.
-
36
My Brother In Law just died tonight.
by AK - Jeff inhe was 51. we had not been close in the past few years.. he suffered from a rare ailment called sarcoid.
it can afflict several organs of the body, but in his case, it affected his brain.
it caused swelling, and subsequent issues from that.
-
-
Mrs. Fiorini
Sorry for your loss.
How nice that you are planning to wear clothes he would have liked. Funerals should be about the people we loved, not infomercials for the WT. I hope your choice of attire makes others in attendance think a little.
-
14
WHERE DO THEY GET THIS STUFF FROM???
by whereami inillustration aboutobedience given by a brother at a new kingdom hall in new england:.
do you realize that in the bible there are many instances of situations.
where jehovah's people were given directions that made no sense from .
-
-
Mrs. Fiorini
I wonder if that's what the people in Jonestown thought as they drank the kool aid.
-
52
Snapped. It just occurred to me that I REALLY hate my life. Mostly all of it.
by easyreader1970 inhere lately, i have just been wishing that i could just fast-forward through my remaining years on earth and just die to get this nonsense all over with.. i have only myself to blame.
if i had gone through with my attempt to leave this hokey religion about sixteen years ago when i attempted to--before i got married and had kids--then maybe i wouldn't be teetering on the very slippery edge of sanity.
instead i punked out, buckled under the threats of shunning and guilt of abandoning family members, and so here i am--looking into the mirror every morning wondering when the nightmare is going to end.
-
-
Mrs. Fiorini
I've mentioned this in previous posts but am bringing it up again since it may help.
Steven Hassan's book, "Releasing The Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves" is excellent. It gives family members tips and techniques on how to help cult members leave. It includes several success stories of JWs.
His approach is based on building trust and rapport with your loved one. He advises not to be confrontational and criticize the WT, but to point out how other cults work and let the JW make the obvious connections.
It's well worth a look.
-
7
what percentage of jws do not agree with shunning?..or ignore it?
by oompa ini am betting over 50 percent..........oompa.
my own mom....elders wife of forever....says she does not believe it is proper if kids were baptized!....yea mom!....too bad my dad shuns my son........oompa.
oh...and my super good jw son does not shun me the apostadad...nor his df brother...so i bet a ton dont buy it...maybe 80%.
-
-
Mrs. Fiorini
Unfortunately for me, my family does.
-
30
American Life : Some questions
by LouBelle inthere are a couple of things i'd like to know about you guys:.
** why does it seem that so many have wooden homes?.
** 401k - is this a pension plan of sorts & are you obligated to take one?.
-
-
Mrs. Fiorini
Why do we have wooden homes? I once knew a man from the UK. He wondered the same thing. What do you build your homes out of?
401K's? It used to be that most large employers offered pensions. Now only a few companies still do. Most large companies offer 401K's instead, where you contribute to your own retirement and they may or may not match the contribution. It is voluntary.
Automatics? Mr. Fiorini and I have two cars. One is an automatic, the other a stick shift.
Proud to be American? Yes, but I haven't always been. Growing up a JW, I was taught not to identify with my country (too nationalistic). After I left, I didn't give it too much thought until the Bush administration. Sadly, I was embarrassed by the way Bush dealt with the rest of the world. Now I am hopeful with Obama. The US has, at times, stood for freedom, democracy and human rights. That is something Americans can be proud of, in my opinion.
Rest of the world? I think it's possible for some citizens of a "superpower" to fall into the trap of thinking the world revolves around them. Additionally, many Americans have descended from immigrants who came to the US in search of a better life, and they sometimes think everyone else views the US from that perspective. But I also think that many Americans are aware of the rest of the world. And as that world becomes more and more interconnected, any problems will resolve themselves. I am interested in the world and have had the opportunity to travel to other places, including Europe. I hope to do more travelling in my life and believe that we all learn from each other.
American dream? The founding fathers of the US wanted to create a country that provided its citizens the opportunity for "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." The US became a melting pot of peoples who, mostly, emigrated from around the world. Some were native (unfortunately they were treated pretty badly), others were brought as slaves against their will (also treated terribly), but many came voluntarily, often fleeing difficult conditions at home. These people believed that if they were smart, worked hard, and conducted themselves honestly, they would be able to make good and prosperous lives for themselves and their families. Many consider this ideal of opportunity and meritocracy the American dream.
British ancestors? Some of my ancestors are English and Welsh. Others are of various European backgrounds, including French and Norwegian. The most recent immigrants in my family came from Sweden. Mr. Fiorini, as you may have guessed, is half Italian. His mother's family is of British ancestry. In the hundreds of years of US history, there has been a lot of mixing and matching. Many no longer know where their ancestors came from, and just consider themselves American.
Fast food? I doubt there's an American alive who hasn't eaten at McDonald's at least once in their life (unless they're an infant). I try not to do fast food very often. It is tempting though, because it's cheap, convenient and, well, fast.
-
9
so how is your conscience now?...changed a bit?
by oompa inwell mine sure as hell has......i first started cussin worse than a sailor.....then i realized that i had led a double life since third grade anyway...so why stop now just because i totally woke up...and my jw wife is still a zombie?....and since i am now a fukkin master at compartmentalizing....ya... just put all the crap in a box.....i can pretty much do anything....and live with it...put it away in a box...... so hate me already........but anybody else go through this??...............oompa.
and ya...btw.......i so fukkin hate this double life....dont know how long i can do this..........
-
-
Mrs. Fiorini
I was lucky in that when I left the JWs I was living in a different state than the rest of my family. I could live how I wanted and they wouldn't know if I didn't tell them. Then I moved back to my home state and lived the life of the faded for a few years. When I decided to start living an authentic life in front of my family, most of them started shunning me even though I was not DF'd or DA'd. So I understand your struggle.
Have you read Steven Hassan's book, "Releasing the Bonds?" It has some good strategies on how to nonconfrontationally help your loved ones out of the cult. I wish I had read it when my family was still talking to me. If you can get some of your family out, you won't have to live a double life, at least around them.
-
36
LURKING JW: Thinking of leaving? Learn from my experience.
by SnakesInTheTower in"mental wondering in the wilderness"... uh oh.... it's a long post from snakes.... lol.
yep... i think that is the best way to describe where i am at in life right now.
if you have read my past posts (mostly in the private section) you know some of my history as a life-long (now former) witness.. i have been away from the jw religion, for all intents and purposes, since dec. 06, though it was not until sept 07 that i stopped attending meetings.
-
-
Mrs. Fiorini
You said, "My family tree is as stunted as my social circle." Do you feel open to having a greater relationship with your non JW brothers? Rebuilding those family ties might give you a greater sense of connectedness and belonging that you lost upon leaving the WT. Just a thought.
Some other ideas I'll throw out for you to take or leave as you see fit:
Between work and school you are probably pretty busy. But do you have any time for community service? Volunteering in the community (at a food bank, homeless shelter, school, the possibilities are endless) would be a way to connect with others and make a difference in their life. It could also help you feel more valuable to your community and give you a greater sense of purpose. And it may lead to meeting new friends.
If you can find a way to get some therapy, it could really help. As I'm sure you're aware, being in a cult has a significant impact on one's life. And so is leaving it. I got counseling around the time I left the WT and it was very helpful to me in processing that experience. You might be able to find a therapist that works on a sliding scale.
I have found that living in a town, at least temporarily, where I don't have family, former JW friends, etc. is a freeing experience. You don't constantly have to look over your shoulder or get judged by them for the choices you make in your life. For me, I felt freer to grow as a person and figure out who I was and how I wanted to live. This has it's limits though. One can't run away from one's life by moving (though it's been tried).
Best wishes to you and good luck.
PS - I went to college as an older student, too. It did feel awkward, especially at first. But I found that I was a better student than I would have been right out of high school. The experiences I had living life helped me understand what I was learning better. It was harder to get in the habit of doing all that reading though.